Mitzi's Miscellany

More Problems with Mother Goose

A couple years back, I took a serious look at the classic rhymes of Mother Goose and realized that she really had some issues.  What kind of issues, you might wonder?  My theory is that Mother Goose's rhymes kept youngsters in line by terrorizing them with tales of child beatings, drownings, and the gruesome demise of old people and cute, cuddly animals.

Just to support my argument, I happened upon another book with additional gems, and thought I'd share them with you today!

Child whipping!  That's a comforting bedtime story:

I think I've gone over this before, but it bears repeating.  Being thrown down the stairs by an old lady and a goose is what you get for not saying your prayers:

Although Mother Goose herself is probably getting up there in years, she seems to take a dim view of other elderly women.  They're usually depicted as hags and nags who won't shut up:

Children tend to love animals, and the thought of talking mice having their heads snapped off can't be a pleasant one.  But Mother Goose doesn't hesitate to go there:

And then there's a sow that gets shot right through the heart.  Another delightful visual!

Cute little mice get butchered again in this familiar rhyme.  And visually impaired mice, at that!

Are we talking about social ostracism in "Polly Put the Kettle On"?  I wouldn't put it past Mother Goose!

So there you go.  More evidence of Mother Goose's psychological problems and evil nature at work!

Mitzi

Mitzi's Vintage Dating Service: V-Harmony!

Just in time for Sweetest Day, I have my Vintage Dating Service "V-Harmony" up and running!  Not much explanation is necessary here, I've just allowed some lonely hearts from the past to post their pleas along with some photos:

Looking for a "Sarah, Plain and Tall" type:  That's me, Frederick Hanson, on the left with my young son Frederick Jr.  We need a woman to clean the house, cook, and do some light farming. I'd like to have more children, so a woman with sturdy birthing hips is preferred. We share the house with my younger brother and his wife and as you can see, we will have the larger half.  Right now, we aren't speaking with them, but hopefully things will change when you get here.

 

Do you like a man in uniform?  I'll be off the boat soon and ready to meet some ladies!  My name is Kenneth Jones and I'd like to take you to Coney Island for a fun-filled day!  We'll ride the roller coaster, play some games, and hopefully see some fireworks at night, if you know what I mean!

 

Let me entertain you!  My name is Violet Henderson.  I've always been a bit exotic, and I'm looking for an adventurous type that might consider running away and joining the circus with me!

 

I'm an earnest young man.  And my name just happens to be Ernest.  I'm looking for a young lady of staunch moral character and high values.  My mother will have to approve, of course.

 

You will have a ball with my six children!  My name is Mavis Middleton and my husband runned off with the town trollop!  I have six children to raise on my own.  Will you help me?

 

I'll never give up!  My name is Clive Morrison.  Before Mother and Father passed on, I promised them I would find husbands for my three sisters, Wilma, Florence, and Anna Louise.  They are good company and can cook a fine meal, all three of them!  Please respond, and give me some hope.  I'm beginning to get a little discouraged.

 

My children might have poor posture, but they're straight arrows!  My name is Matthew Jensen and I've raised my two children, Reginald and Molly, without a mother.  Perhaps mothers remind youngsters to stand up straight, and I'll admit to failure in that department.  But my children are fine young adults in all other areas, and I'm ready to find mates for them!

 

Southern Belle looking for an Ashley Wilkes type:  I know the South can rise again!  I still consider Jefferson Davis our president and someday we will reassemble our army and lick the Yankees!  If you believe it too, contact me.  My name is Laurel Williams.

 

Looking for a "Marian the Librarian" type.  My name is Lloyd Merriweather, and I take education very seriously.  I've checked out more books than anyone else in Altoona, Pennsylvania!  Let's read together by the fireplace.

 

Loretta Lynn was 14 when she got married:  So I can start dating when I'm 12!  That's how we do it in Humpy Holler.  My name is Sara June Colby and I'm ready to find a feller!

I hope my readers can help find some dates for these well-meaning single folks!   As I've said before, "there's a lid for every pot", and I suppose we just have to keep looking until we find the lid that fits!

Happy Sweetest Day,

Mitzi

The Hardships We Endured in the 60's and 70's

Each generation has had their hardships to endure, and I know my mother, who lived through the Great Depression, has deeply ingrained habits from her childhood as a result of those hardships.  She saves a half inch nub of a cucumber for a potential salad and rescues a burnt piece of toast by scraping off the black part, for example.

You might think my generation had a pretty cushy upbringing, and by comparison to past generations we did, but we had our hardships too, especially compared to the youth of today.  Granted, we didn't have to milk five cows then walk two miles to school every day, but I think when you read the list I've compiled you might have some sympathy for those of us who grew up in the 1960's and 70's. 

Music:  Well, we were exposed the the music of Bobby Goldsboro, whose hit "Honey" included the most ridiculous line in a song I've ever heard:  "She was always young at heart, kind of dumb and kind of smart".  The suffering that song caused us was incalculable!

 

Photo Credit:  Kool Cat Jazz

And the first runner up for song with the dumbest lyrics goes to "MacArthur Park", with the classic lines:

"Someone left the cake out in the rain.  I don't know if I can take it, cause it took so long to bake it, and I'll never have that recipe again...oh no!"

 

Photo Credit:  Genaw.com

 

There was a period in the sixties when talking during songs, or sometimes pretty much throughout the song, was in vogue.  I guess this came in handy for stars that wanted to record a song but really couldn't carry a tune, like Eddie Albert and Leonard Nimoy.  If you want proof of their lack of musical talent, sample some of their recordings on Golden Throats, a compilation of embarrassing attempts by popular actors to spread their wings a little too far:

 

Photo Credit:  Discography CD

 

Family music groups with a squeaky voiced pre-pubescent boy lead singer who would chirp about falling in and out of love were foisted upon us.  Everyone agrees that Michael Jackson and the Jackson Five had some real talent, and the wholesome Osmonds, but talents of the DeFrancos and the Cowsills were questionable at best.  And why weren't there ever any female family groups with a tiny girl lead singer?  Just asking....

 

 Photo Credit:  Totally Awesome Teen Magazines

 

Then we had the female country singer with a story.  Vicki Lawrence singing "That's the Night that the Lights Went Out in Georgia", Bobbi Gentry's "Ode to Billie Joe" the womens' lib inspired "Harper Valley PTA" by Jeannie C. Riley, and Helen Reddy's "Angie Baby".  Maybe I can sneak one more in there, even though it's not country:  Cher with "Dark Lady".  Once you heard how the story ended you really didn't want to hear it over and over.

 

 

Photo Credit:  Soul Spectrum

 

Leisure Activities:  Love-Ins, which were popular hippie gatherings in the 1960's, should have been all about peace and good-will but actually became weirdo magnets, which I discovered when our small town hosted a Love-In.  Plus, there was a shocking lack of personal hygiene amongst the attendees.....

 

Photo Credit:  Woodstock 1969

 

The CB radio craze spawned a slew of gawdawful songs in the seventies.  "Teddy Bear" by Red Sovine is just one example.  The image of a group of unfamiliar truckers taking a "little crippled boy" for rides in their rigs while his mother was at work is not exactly a warm and fuzzy one, is it?  Nowadays we'd expect Chris Hanson from "To Catch A Predator" to be sitting at the kitchen table with a slew of questions when the last trucker dropped the boy off, and the inevitable tackling  of the trucker by cops hiding in the bushes when Hanson was finished with the interrogation.

 

Photo Credit:  Houseplant Picture Studio

 

Food:  The space race influenced many things, including food, and I persuaded my mom to buy Tang and Pillsbury Food Sticks because if these foods were good enough for the astronauts, by golly, they were good enough for me!  After a couple sips of  the flat tasting Tang and one bite of a plastic-textured Food Stick, I gave up and went back to Coke and potato chips for snacks.

 

 

Photo Credit:  Krypton Radio

 

Beverages:  The first diet drinks arrived on the scene, and included some dangerous chemical called "cyclamates".  I think cyclamates actually gave Fresca its flavor.  Then we had Tab, which was horrible, and Diet Rite, which was even worse.

We even had problems with candy, believe it or not!  A new candy called Zotz was introduced, and vicious rumours swirled that the boy in the Oscar Mayer ad died when he ate too many of the fizzy confections.  Bubble Yum was an exciting improvement for bubble blowing fans until we heard that it was full of spider eggs.

Photo Credit:  Amazon.com

 

Movies:  Please take pity on us.  We had to sit through the awful Billy Jack movies.  I still want my money back, at least for the ticket, maybe not for the popcorn and Junior Mints.

 

 

 Photo Credit:  The Movie Gourmet

 

Then there was the movie "Deliverance", in which the "Dueling Banjos" scene was responsible for a new psychiatric diagnosis called "post traumatic exposure to a string instrument stress disorder",  just because it was associated with the scene that came several minutes after.  This caused many young people to avoid string instruments altogether for many years to come.

TV shows:  The Flying Nun, Love, American Style, Room 222.  Those were some of the lame night time choices.  But things really got bad on Sunday mornings, with the clay-mation Davy and Goliath. Sunday afternoons got a little better, with the educational "Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom" and its ample footage of wildebeests.

 

Photo Credit:  The Lake County Fiscal Rangers

 

A popular genre for kids was the boy-with-an animal show.  Gentle Ben, Lassie, and Flipper were three examples.  Why weren't there any girl-with-an-animal shows?  Just asking.  And I don't know about you, but that incessant barking and dolphin chatter got on my nerves after a while.

Weekend afternoon movies could be dicey.  I think I saw "Two Mules for Sister Sara" nine times. Whilst viewing T.V. we were tortured with frequent ads for K-Tel Records, Milton Bradley games, and Whisk detergent, whose slogan "ring around the collar!" is still ringing in my ears.

Clothing:  Many of us purchased Earth Shoes.  These shoes were so unattractive, they looked like you were wearing bricks on your feet.  Mine were dark brown, my friend Carrie's were tan.  We wore knee socks with them, which made the whole look even worse.

 

Photo Credit:  Dress That Man

Then there was the lack of clothing choices, especially in our small town.  Often jeans were too short, so modifications were needed. We would sew braided trim around the bottom, or slit the seam at the bottom and insert some fabric to make them more flared.  

Men were singled out for particular humiliation in the 1970's.  They were expected to wear big chunky platform heeled boots or shoes, and highly flammable polyester leisure suits with a Quiana knit shirt underneath when they had their school pictures taken.  They now have to look at these framed pictures above the TV every time they gather at Mom and Dad's for Thanksgiving or Christmas, or when a fiendish friend decides to put one on Facebook.

 

Photo Credit:  Barry Smith

Photo Credit:  Some Like It Vintage

 

I suppose women didn't fare much better, at least in the shoe department:

Photo Credit:  Some Like It Vintage

 

Jewelry:  Puka shell necklaces, peace sign pendants, owl pendants, and mood rings.  Do those sound familiar?

Now there's nothing wrong with a puka shell necklace, in fact they look rather nice with a tan, but you know darn well if you wear one nowadays, your friend is going to hand you their cell phone and say "it's David Cassidy calling.  He wants his necklace back".

 

Photo Credit:  Skool Days

 

Speaking of teen idols,  we had limited media sources to view our faves.  Tiger Beat Magazine, the occasional movie, and TV shows were pretty much it.  I remember being quite impressed by the movie "Jeremy", starring the unlikely semi-geeky teen idol Robby Benson, and gathering with my girlfriends to watch the more reasonable California teen dream Vince Van Patten who starred in the show "Apple's Way", which was a lame show except for Vince's appearance here and there.

Bad Crafts:  See Stitchy McYarnpants:  Horror on the Slopes.  Can you imagine showing up at a chic ski resort wearing something like this?

 

 

 

In many families there was a well-meaning aunt or granny that made a crocheted hat from Budweiser cans:

 

Photo Credit:  Teesforall.com

Grooming:  Hot Combs, the precursor to the blow dryer, became a must-have.  We got my brother one for Christmas one year, and it really didn't do much of anything, which was a big let-down for everyone involved.

There was an anti-persperant called "Tickle".  The name didn't exactly convey the confidence one would want when trying to keep ones underarms dry.

 

"Pssst" dry shampoo was introduced. I tried this once and it made my hair a dull mess, plus it had an icky overpowering scent.  As you will read in the ad below, the woman gets "very depressed" over her dirty hair between shampoos.  Wait a minute.  I take a shower and shampoo my hair every day, sometimes twice in the summer.  How long does she wait between shampoos if clinical depression is setting in?

 

 

Then there was Bonne Bell Ten-O-Six lotion, for the acne prone.  Little did we know it was simply scented jet fuel that NASA was using to launch their rockets into space!

 

 

Toys:  Instead of the Wii, X-Box and such, we had Duncan Yoyos, Chinese jumpropes, and the clacker toys that were popular for a brief time until we realized that our front teeth were more important than mindless fun:

 

 

Silly Putty, Slinky, and Spirograph:   these toys were fun for approximately five minutes, max.  Eventually your Silly Putty got smashed into the shag carpet, your Slinky got hopelessly twisted by your younger brother, and the Spirograph got so frustrating that it ended up at the bottom of the stack of game boxes in the closet.

Schooling:  We lived with the constant threat of switching to the metric system.  This caused uneccessary stress on school kids nationwide, year after year!  And every time we saw a movie or film strip about nature, we were scolded about man's ruination of the ecosystem, and there were the frequent TV ads with the weeping native American viewing the polluted countryside.  Was this same fellow crying when the wetlands were filled in for the massive but lucrative casinos?  I'm just sayin'....

 

Photo Credit:  Greenblue

 

And somewhere in between education and public service advertising, we had the Smokey the Bear ads that repeatedly reminded us that only we could prevent forest fires.  That's a lot of responsibility to put on an elementary school kid!  I felt a terrible burden on my shoulders, especially because I lived in town.  There was the obvious transportation issue, and I constantly felt the need to be out patrolling the forests instead of sitting in class.  How very stressful it was!

 

 

TV Game Show Prizes:  Nowadays top prizes may exceed one million dollars.  But when I was a kid, the Newlywed Game humiliated couples in front of millions of viewers just for a chance to win a new refrigerator.  Consolation prizes on other shows frequently consisted of his and hers watch bands by Speidel, or a brooch from Sarah Coventry Jewelry.

 

 

The "Generation Gap":  This was huge, was mentioned often, and ended up as the punchline of so many jokes.  The older generation just couldn't comprehend "hipsters" or "hippies".    Remember how "hippies" were depicted on the show "Dragnet"?  They were always whacked out weirdos on some acid trip, a sharp contrast to Sargeant Friday's straight laced poker face and deadpan delivery.

Ugly Rumors:  Because communication was so slow, once a rumor got started it was hard to squelch it.  For quite some time we thought Paul McCartney was dead, and since he was the cutest Beatle it was devastating to Beatle fans.  Someone started a rumor that Beaver Cleaver had grown up to be Alice Cooper, then later it was changed to Eddie Haskell although it was still incorrect.  Or was it?

 

 

Well, I think I've illustrated enough hardships to generate sympathy for us post-baby boomers.  If there are those of you readers that have additional hardships to add, please use my comment section to add to the list.  A few more couldn't hurt!  And if for some reason you were offended by this post, please do not throw your Pet Rock through my window.

Mitzi

She's Just Not That Into You

I love old pictures, and it doesn't matter to me if I know the people in them or not.  I'm fascinated by the photographer's props, the clothing, hairstyles, and if it's a couple, their body language.  The saying "there's a lid for every pot" just tickles me.  How do some odd couples end up together?  Years ago, marriages were often arranged, so not all couples were a love match.  Some look happy, and some look miserable.  Today let's look at some of the latter....

A couple who is not in sync:  He's in front of her, leading the way.  She's definitely second fiddle, and doesn't look too happy about it, either:

 

 

I would call the fellow below a "dandy", but I don't think his partner shares his enthusiasm:

 

Body language alert:  her arm is blocking him, as if to say "I don't want you next to me", and her other hand is clenched in a fist, for extra proof.  And he has a wimpy posture, don't you think?

 

 

Are these two resurrected from the dead?  They have a ghoulish quality to them, so they have something in common, but they still don't look very happy together:

 

 To paraphrase The Police:  "Don't Stand So Close To Me":

 

 

 

You can fill in your own caption for this one: ______________________.

 

 

 He has the beginnings of a smile, but she's nowhere close:

 

 

Hopefully, this couple have one thing in common:  a love of the dog.  They certainly don't appear in love with each other!  And does the woman have the beginning of devil horns growing out of her head?

 

 

When the bride can't hold her bouquet upright and the groom has a look of fear on his face, that's a sign the marriage might not have been a love match:

 

Uh oh.  This wedding portrait does not predict a happy marriage....

 

Maybe someday I'll post pictures of happy couples.  But I have to admit, the unhappy couples are more interesting, and easier to find!

Mitzi

Things Our Mothers & Grandmothers Said

In honor of Mother's Day weekend, today I'd like to celebrate mothers and grandmothers by sharing some of their favorite sayings. I polled a couple of my friends and added their memories to what I recall being said by the women in my family.

 If someone in the group was dawdling, my grandma knew just what to say:

 "The army won't wait for one soldier" - Mary Pletkovic

 

My grandma Newton was somewhat shy.  I love this picture of her listening to her favorite song on the Victrola.  Underneath the photo she had written "Sentimental...I suppose".  Once she and my grandpa started their restaurant, she worked from dawn till dusk cooking and cleaning.  She used to say this about herself:

"I'm afraid of everything except hard work" - Harriett Newton

 

My grandma also loved to sew, make jewelry, and kept herself occupied with various other handicrafts.  Another one of her favorite sayings was:

"Busy hands are happy hands" - Harriett Newton

I attended a softball game once and overheard a mother talking to her upset son, who had his arms crossed against his chest and his lower lip jutting out in the classic pout. 

"Stop pouting or a bird will poop on your lip" - Unknown

 

When it came to dating advice, my friend Nancy Clifford recommended the "Shop Around" method, and used pasta as an effective analogy:

 "If you throw enough spaghetti against a wall, some of it is bound to stick" - Nancy Clifford

 My mom wasn't one to use a lot of sayings, but she often used nicknames for me, one of which was "Snookey Ookums".  Imagine my delight when I recently came across two sets of sheet music titled with my old nickname!

"Stop snacking.  You'll ruin your dinner!" - Every mom that cooks.

 

 "A penny saved is a penny earned" - Many, many moms.

 "A stitch in time saves nine" - Universal mom-ism.

My friend Gail's mother was famous for these sensible words of warning:

"Don't borrow trouble" - Jan Roehrich

When it came time to visit the "necessary room", my friend Vicki's mother would say something unusual:

"I have to go to the biff" -  Beryl Sutton

She also said this little rhyme to comfort her daughter when she broke a toy or had a mishap:

Suppose my little lady
That your doll would break it's head
Would it mend it all by crying
Til your eyes and nose were red?
Now, wouldn't it be better to treat it as a joke
and be so glad t'was the doll's head
and not your head that broke?

"A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush." - Mothers all over the world.

Generic mother-daughter pic:

If there was ever an opportunity for readers to comment, this is it!  What endearing quips did your mother or grandmother used to say?  Please let us know in my comment section!  In the meantime, I'll sign off with this picture of my mom and me and wish Happy Mother's Day to my mom Lucile and all the other moms and grandmothers out there!

Love,

Snookie Ookums

Meet the Westies

Meet my Westies, short for West Highland White Terriers.  I have a female, Chauncey, and male, Cheswick.  They have the same father, but were born a year apart.  The Westie is a special breed, and I thought I'd share some of the characteristics of these affable terriers according to some newly published and little-known AKC guidelines (wink).

Westies like to insert themselves into photos whenever possible:

 

 

They often pee when you are conducting outdoor photo shoots.....

 

 

They stick their noses into everything.  In the picture below, Cheswick comes face to face with a vintage Halloween Woody Woodpecker mask:

 

They'll show off for the camera by striking a yoga pose.  Here we have Cheswick demonstrating the "Flying Dog":

 

 

They demand to be noticed by staring at you with a penetrating gaze.....

 

 

Both males and females make excellent "blog dogs".  They will sit at your feet while you work on the computer.....

But they crap out under the work table around 5:00 p.m.

 

 

They crave affection, but dole it out generously too:

 

 

They're always ready to go for a walk:

 

 

They're happy to keep an eye on the neighborhood throughout the day, free of charge:

 

 

They think everything their owner does is fascinating:

 

 

Westies enjoy watching TV, but they tend to get sleepy during the news:

 

 

The males tend to be fearful of thunder, hence the "Thundershirt" Cheswick is wearing:

 

 

Westies practically beg to be sprayed with the hose:

 

 

They like getting all wet!  They think the hose is a giant snake that spits out water.

 

 

There's always one lurking in the background, keeping an eye on you......

 

 

It was recently discovered that Westies are completely tone deaf.  Therefore, they won't file a compaint with the Music Police when their owner sings off-key to them.

 

 

They'll curl up by a roaring fire and listen to their owner belt out show tunes, product jingles and pop ditties for hours on end, without complaint!

 

 

And they are the best companions anyone could have!

I realize that mutts are just as capable as Westies of being good pets.  When there is a future vacancy at our house, it will be filled by either be a pound hound or a Westie rescue. 

Do you have a particular breed, mix or mutt you would like to brag about?  I'm all ears....

Mitzi

Employee of the Month at Joshua Smith Studios

Dear readers:  Today I'm hosting my friend Joshua Smith's article, in which he sings the praises of his Employee of the Month.  I always enjoy Mr. Smith's visits, as he freely shares his helpful photography tips!  You can view his previous guest posts here and here.

Greetings and salutations, Mitzi's Miscellany readers!  I'd like to introduce my Employee of the Month here at Joshua Smith Photography Studio, Miss Caroline Wilkins.  I hired Miss Wilkins to help prepare my customers for their special portraits, and she's proved her mettle with even the most difficult and challenging cases by taming their hair and otherwise primping them for their photography sessions. 

Before the arrival of Miss Wilkins, we had the occasional hairstyle mishap here at Joshua Smith Studios, resulting in less than stellar portraits of our clients:

 

Miss Wilkins pays just as much attention to the men (especially young men, I have discovered), as the women:

 

 She uses specially made tonics to tame unruly tresses:

It's essential for the customer to trust the photographer.  I've found that attention to the coif helps build an air of confidence.  The positive results are hard to deny:

Sometimes Miss Wilkins will wield her scissors in order to get a hairstyle in order, like she did for this creation called the "mullet":

 

We've discovered that tots can often use a quick trim before their photo sessions.  Miss Wilkins, clever girl that she is, simply places a mixing bowl on the head and cuts around it for a precision coif:

 

Besides the "Mullet", Miss Wilkins has created and named another signature hairstyle, "The Sea Sponge":

A pair of sisters requested "The Sea Sponge", and insisted they each wear a monocle in their portrait.  We aim to please our customers at Joshua Smith Studios, so we obliged:

Another pair of sisters requested hairdos resembling soft serve ice cream, and Miss Wilkins took on the challenge without delay, adding a special blossom to enhance the design:

This young lady wanted a hairdo that resembled the frosting on a cupcake.  I think Miss Wilkins did an excellent representation:

Older women can be finicky, and want a hairstyle with each and every hair in place.  I think this example of Miss Wilkins' perfectionism speaks for itself:

And parents sometimes request that their childrens' pin-straight hair be curled.  Miss Wilkins employs a variety of tools to achieve that goal.  Occasionally, we smell burning hair in the studio, but we've learned not to draw attention to such incidences:

I think you'll agree with me that we are very lucky to have such a talented young lady on our staff at Joshua Smith Studios!

Until next time, remember at Joshua Smith Studios "We Turn Negatives Into A Positive"!

My Story: The 1960's

I was born in Mt. Pleasant, Michigan, in 1960.  If you look at your right palm, and point to the center, that's where Mt. Pleasant is located within the state of Michigan.  Mt Pleasant was an odd name, because our town was flat as a pancake.  But it was a great little town to grow up in.  I often describe it as "Mayberry, with a college" back in those days.  From our house we could walk to the Central Michigan College campus or to the downtown Five and Dime.  I lived on the corner of Main and Cherry Streets throughout the 1960's.

I was kind of a porker when I was a toddler.  Maybe because I was always being pushed around in this contraption which resembled a shopping cart (below). I'm clutching Raggedy Ann and Andy dolls my grandma Newton sewed for me.  Aren't they adorable?

Holding on for dear life, with our yellow station wagon in the background:

My grandma also sewed this little dress with the smocked top.  I still remember the colors exactly.  She was so talented, always creating something with her hands.  She's responsible for sparking my interest in sewing and crafting.

My only sibling Mike is seven years older than me.  He took on a brother/teacher role that really helped develop my curiosity about the world.  Mike's room was full of fascinating collections of stamps, coins, rocks, shells,bugs, and antique mechanical banks.  He encouraged me start my my own little collections too.  Mike had an antique nickel slot machine that I frequently played with.  I thought it was better than any toy I owned, with all of its complex gears and the spinning reels of fruit images inside.

My kindergarten photo:

Mike's bedroom was down the hall from mine, and he would play his fantastic collection of Beatles, Yardbirds, The Who, and Rolling Stones albums while I was drifting off to sleep.  One summer I discovered Mike's cache of MAD magazines, and read every one from cover to cover.  What fun!

Every summer my cousins would gather at my grandparents' house in Mt. Pleasant.  We'd get out Grandma's photo albums that she had carefully compiled and pore over the pictures. Grandpa grew raspberries, grapes and peaches in his yard and I loved picking my own bowl full.  Every Labor Day weekend we would pick pears from their tree.  My grandma would always have delicious meals prepared, and after dinner, she'd be happy to make you a root beer float while you watched Lawrence Welk with them.  Just good old-fashioned Americana, the way life was supposed to be!

In the picture below, my brother Mike is on the left.  I'm in the center, with my mom, grandparents, aunt, and cousins:

 

We were allowed unlimited TV at our house, although the options were somewhat limited back then.  My clever parents set up a crafting table for me in our family room, and I don't think I ever watched TV without simultaneously working on some project. That's still my modus operandi.  For a while I wanted to be a dress designer, and filled a dozen Russel Stover candy boxes with paper doll clothes I created.

I started drawing elaborate dresses when I was in kindergarten (age 5):

I was an inquisitive child, and I pondered great mysteries of the 60's, such as:  What did they use on Gilligan's Island for toilet paper?  Why did cartoon characters always wear the same outfits?  Where did the women on Bonanza and other westerns get all the makeup, especially the mascara?  And lastly, why did Uncle Bill on Family Affair need a full time manservant, and why did he have to wear that uncomfortable butler's uniform?

My athletic prowess was evident from an early age, especially on the slopes:

 

I wore a fuzzy hat one winter that I remember loving for some reason.  It made me resemble a dandelion gone to seed.  We had a stylish dark blue T-Bird for our family car, seen in this photo of me with my dad at a ski hill:

Our neighborhood was full of girls my age, and I always had lots of playmates.  But when Carrie and her family moved into the neighborhood, things really got hoppin' and poppin'!  Carrie was creative  like me, and when we put our heads together we came up with some pretty interesting things.  She's been my lifelong best friend.

I was so proud of my first (and last) scrapbook, with the beautiful prints by artist Gwen Frostic:

Carrie and I were always working on some project, some more memorable than others.  Once we wanted to sew our own nightgowns, but without a pattern.  We selected red and white striped flannel, and added blue satin ruffles on the sleeves and yoke.  Kind of like lingerie for Bozo.  We were crestfallen when our creations didn't fit!

Remember the little pet turtles everyone had?  Carrie and I created a racetrack from yardsticks duck taped to the sidewalk, and organized the now infamous Turtle Races, with neighborhood kids cracking open their piggy banks to wager money on their turtles.  Luckily, we didn't get busted for illegal gambling!

 

If you've been reading my blog, you know my parents ran an antique shop in our converted two-car garage.  I accompanied my parents on many trips around rural Michigan to find wares to sell, and we would often be visited by pickers, inevitably during dinner time, with a truckload of goods for my parents to buy.  I didn't appreciate the finer points of antiques back then, but a lot of knowledge soaked in just from being in that environment.

For a while my friends and I published "Neighborhood News".  I was a bit of a bossypants, and most of it was written by me.  Could this be considered a precursor to my blog?

Girl Scout Camp was the highlight of every summer.  I still have recurring dreams that I've enrolled for camp and get notified that this will be the last year I can go, because of my age (I guess they discourage campers over 50)!  One summer my tent mates were three girls from Saginaw that I was placed with because I was such a happy camper and got along with everyone.  We became fast friends, and I learned a little about "big city" life, how to dance (at least a little), and how to braid cornrows.

 

So that's about it for the 1960's.  I'll have more of  "My Story" to share in the future when I cover the 1970's, so I hope you'll stick with me through the macrame owls, orange decor, and Watergate (I had nothing to do with it)!

Mitzi

The Fabric of Our Lives

Lately I've been perusing vintage magazines that I've purchased at auctions.  I find them so entertaining, not just for the articles but for the advertisements.  I keep a pad of sticky notes with me and mark each page that I may want to refer to in the future.  By the end of my magazine review, I have a pile of periodicals with a fringe of sticky notes, waiting for attention at a later date.

Today I'd like to share some of the magazine pages I earmarked by focusing on the post-World War II era here in the USA. The space race was on, and showing the world our scientific advances in all areas, including housewares, was clearly on display.  Let's have a look at textile offerings from the post-nuclear age.

Here we have Dad looking beyond thrilled in his Textron pajamas.  Not only is the fabric comfy, but they have roomier armholes and the patented "parachute no-seam seat", so it feels as if you aren't wearing anything!  I don't know about you, but sometimes I can't get to sleep because of those seams in my pajamas.

 

Orlon was an acrylic fiber that kept its shape and saved housewives hours of ironing.

 

DuPont created Nylon, undoubtedly one of the most popular synthetic fabrics of all time:

 

According to this ad, in order to "be safe", you must insist on furniture upholstered with all plastic Duran upholstery covering!  Makes me wonder what's unsafe about natural materials....

 

For some strange reason, Arthur Godfrey was peddling "Fiberglas" curtains back in the day.  For easy cleaning, I'll bet you could just leave them hanging and hose them down with your garden hose:

 

 

Although not exactly "fabric", housewares made of Styron should receive an honorable mention here.  This ad appealed to me because of the ubiquitous housewife wearing an apron and high heels and the hubby smoking a pipe.

 

I think it's always a good idea to wrap your torso in something highly flammable when you're going to be working in the kitchen, don't you?

Last but not least, we have Polyester.  Without Polyester, we wouldn't have the leisure suit, countless Halloween costumes, embarrassing family photos, and Napoleon Dynamite's rust-colored prom outfit.

Thanks for stopping by today.  As you can see, my new blog design isn't ready yet.  My grandma used to say "projects always take twice as long and cost twice as much as you think they will".  I have a feeling she's going to be right, at least when it comes to the time part.

Have a great weekend,

Mitzi

More Photography Tips From Guest Joshua Smith!

In February 2010, I featured photography tips from a well respected and seasoned photographer and friend, Mr. Joshua Smith, who also shared some of his fabulous work in portrait photography.  Because I've been trying to focus on better photos (no pun intended, but there it is), I thought I'd return to Joshua Smith Studios for more helpful tips.  So take it away, Mr. Smith!

Greetings and salutations, my friends!  I'm so delighted to be a guest once again on Mitzi's blog, and hope to provide you with some of my proven techniques for portrait photography.

Let's first consider the older folks, who may well be sitting for their last portrait, although I should mention that I am also very experienced in post mortem portraits, and have portable equipment that can be set up discreetly at the funeral home or parlour.  At Joshua Smith Studios, our motto is "We'll Take Your Picture, Dead or Alive." But I digress!  Allow me to share my secret technique for eliciting a warm and affectionate look from the older ladies:  I flirt with them just a bit, and flatter them, appealing to the inner youthful girl that still resides in the more mature individual.

 

 

 

Many times I find it effective to include the beloved family pet in the portrait.  There is no better way to bring out the warmth and caring of an older woman than by pairing her with her faithful canine companion:

 

 
Gentlemen can be more of a challenge, although appealing to their vanity is always an option.  Sometimes a light-hearted joke will break the ice and elicit a cheerful expression.

 

I have found unparalleled success photographing couples, and, if I do say so myself, capture the look of love that is impossible to suppress in the young engaged or newly married lovebirds.

 

What is my secret tip for photographing couples?  I often break the ice by asking the two how they met, or to describe the marriage proposal.  Occasionally this backfires, when there has been an arranged marriage that both members found most unpleasant, but my success rate with couples is quite high nevertheless.

 

 

 

Last but not least we have my speciality, the instantaneous portraits of children!  My top secret tip for photographing the little ones?  I keep one hand on my camera, and in the other I squeeze a squeaky toy that never fails to make the little ones giggle gleefully, allowing me to capture the jolly visage of the youngster.

 

 

 

Mitzi believes that perhaps I captured, on film, the first known example of a peculiar coif known as the "mullet".  Just another feather in my cap at Joshua Smith Studio!

 

 

I hope you find these tips helpful as you practice your photography skills with friends and family.  That's how I got started early on.  Allow me to engage in one more of our favorite slogans at Joshua Smith Studios:  We turn negatives into a positive!  And I want to thank Mitzi for hosting another peek into the world of Joshua Smith Studios!